Have you ever felt that way?
Recently, I’ve been struggling with transition. Something feels strange and weird in my life – like things are changing and I’m not sure why or how or where it will end. I feel somehow ‘temporary’, ‘disconnected.’ It’s not easy to describe.
Do you go through times like this as well?
I find it helps to write things down. I wrote down the things that seemed like they were coming to an end, and the things I’d really like to start on.
I realised that transition in life is like the simple transitions in film editing – CUT TO, FADE OUT/FADE IN or DISSOLVE.
CUT TO: Something stops and the next thing starts. Sometimes life’s like that. You change jobs, you finish one project and start the next.
I’ve just finished a book – Share Your Skills (to help arts and crafts practitioners run workshops.) I’m moving on to my next project – The Family Message Book (which will help people to list all the things that their family will need to know in the event of their passing.) Two totally different projects from two separate areas of expertise.
FADE OUT/FADE IN: Something disappears from your life, slowly, then something else emerges. Often, especially as you age, activities that you did as a younger person become less attractive, or you become less able to do them, or the opportunity to do them gets less and less.
I’ve struggled for a while with holding on to all my years of film-making. It was a passion for so long, and I loved it. Everything about it filled me with excitement and joy – even the frustration of making a film was rewarding. Recently, I realised that I would probably – not certainly, but probably – never experience that again.
But there are other things on the horizon. Next month I’ll be working for the first time on a cruise ship – not as a cruise ship speaker, which is what I was accepted as initially – but as an arts and crafts instructor. When they asked me to teach felting (my textile passion) I jumped at the chance. So fade out/fade in.
DISSOLVE: Something is disappearing and something else is taking its place. The old has not quite gone yet, and the new is not quite here, but it’s on its way. Things are uncertain, unresolved, unclear.
This is the transition that’s been affecting me these last few weeks. I’m not sure what is fading out. Not my passion for writing, not my desire to help people, not my zeal for doing whatever I do to the best of my ability. None of that is fading. But maybe my priorities are changing. I feel that family perhaps needs more of my time. Not just time that I can squeeze in between jobs and tasks, but time freely given and expansively enjoyed. Maybe I need more of my time. Maybe I need to relax and read more. Maybe it’s time to return to my stories and my fiction writing. I feel that this is an important transition, and one that needs time. It will be a dissolve, a slow dissolve, and when it’s over, I’ll be interested to see what my life will look like.
Whatever happens, and however it happens, I think I may as well accept that what will be, will be, and I may just sit back and enjoy the journey!
Of course, my business will still be here, and The Family Memory Project will still be here. Not everything changes!
What sort of transitions are happening in your life? How are you coming to terms with them?